Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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