Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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