my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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