If that was your dad, he is hot
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
