Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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