What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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