Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
