he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
