dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
