I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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