Got a toothbrush?
dude i'm inner monologue high
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so let's talk penis.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize