my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
