end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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