Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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