yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
