Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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