You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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