I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
two words...techno handjob
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
