so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
