hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
