I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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