either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize