have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
