I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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