So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
