Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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