Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
