I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Randomize
