Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
