I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
