..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
