plz talk dirty to me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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