THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
