rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
