Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
