Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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