Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
