You're so nebulous sometimes
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize