just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
