last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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