please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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