you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
