I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
