yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
BRING THE BAGELS
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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