Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
