The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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