drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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