We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
