:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
