VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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