but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
