So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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