If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Two words: blizzard sex
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
