Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize