White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
