your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
