so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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