yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
