You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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