Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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